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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Jack Benny
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Jack Benny quotes

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.



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