Yakov Smirnoff quotes
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.
In America you can always find a party. In Russia the party always finds you.
In Russia, if a male athelete loses he becomes a female athelete.
In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.
Many people are surprised to hear that we have comedians in Russia, but they are there. They are dead, but they are there.