Neil Simon quotes
Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.
I felt like writing about a time when I was probably, and I think all of us are, the happiest in our lives-before the obligations start in.
I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.
If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven’t been born yet.
People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?
Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.
Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.
You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy.